Monday, October 27, 2008

Olivia Jayne at HOME!

Resting with mommy!

Playing with Daddy!

Cousin Liz came to visit me!

Cousin Stephanie came to visit me too!

It's been so nice recovering at home and Olivia has been so fortunate to have so many family members and friends stopping by to see her! She loves the attention and is totally enjoying hanging out with all the new people she is meeting.
My parents are totally in love with her and LOVE spending time with her. I think it's so nice that they get to spend a lot of time with her. I grew up very close with my grandparents and I want the same for Olivia.
Dave's dad and his step-mom Deanne are visiting this week too. They got here last night from Nebraska and will be staying through Friday morning. I am really glad that they were able to come here and see Olivia. It's hard because Dave's family is far enough away that it's not like they can come over to see her whenever they want. They are going to be here every morning this week to spend time with her and they will come back at night to spend more time with Dave and I as well as Olivia.
I am going to do my best to make sure that Olivia knows her family in Nebraska and Texas. I don't want her just knowing my relatives because they live closer to her than Dave's family does. She has a huge family full of relatives ALL over the country and it's important that she knows and is in contact with them as she gets older. She even has a cousin coming in late November/early December in Nebraska so when we do visit she'll have another kid to play with.
Parenting is scary, stressful and really overwhelming, but I am doing my best to make sure she feels comfortable, loved and is always surrounded by family and friends.

Friday, October 24, 2008

late night bottles

dave is the best. he gets up with olivia every night. he doesn't want me to get out of bed because i'm working on recovering from a pretty rough c-section and i have a hard time moving around. it takes me 20 minutes to get into our bed (we have high mattresses) and he feels bad for me. i waddle, my lower half is still swollen and i can only sleep on my back!!

but i also think he LOVES taking care of her. he is adorable with her honestly. he is so loving and caring and even in the middle of the night he talks so sweetly to her - it's really cute!

so at least for now he's giving me the chance to recoup...once i'm better i do think that i'll let him get a lot more sleep! :-) and i'll take the late night duties over...but for now, i'm just going to enjoy that i'm married to a wonderful man who has become a caring, loving father!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

this was NOT in the brochure!

so when i got pregnant i had no idea what to expect...with any of it...i didn't know how it would effect me emotionally, physically or mentally and I certainly didn't know what to do once I got through the actual pregnancy and had a baby to care for, but i always knew i'd get through it and feel my way - ask friends and family for advice and guidance and that all would be ok.

i am a worrier by nature so i purposely don't over research pregnancy related things. i never researched the actual recovery time for labor and delivery or a c-section, because frankly i would have worried. though now that i'm recovering from an emergency c-section, i wish i had somewhat known what i was getting into.

it's been nearly a week since she was "evicted" and i'm still swollen up from the waist feet, legs, stomach (i'm actually now retaining water on my sides as well - Dave said it looks like i'm a fat man who lost a lot of weight the way my skin literally hangs over itself) and little lady are still pretty big....though my mom today said she thought they were going down a arms and hands are not nearly as bad as they were but i can still feel a slight swelling to them.

i have consulted with some c-section ladies and they all assure me this is normal as did my midwife at the hospital, but still it sucks. I can see why they don't tell you about THIS in school...the toll having a child has taken on my body is awful. i am told that once i drink a lot of water and my body processes all the stored fluids that i'll pee or sweat it out...but seriously i am tired of being so bloated...i walk like i'm heading into the O.K. Corral for the showdown at high noon!

the other part of this experience that is awful is my random crying jags. i'm clearly so hormonal that my eyes are like water works two or three times a day for no real reason. it's ridiculous. i actually cried leaving the hospital yesterday!! i am a wreck sometimes.

sleeping is even a challenge...i am so swollen that i can barely get into bed (i've never been sad that we have a nice high mattress until now) and when i do get into bed my sleeping position is on my back sort of sitting up. it is uncomfortable and really just stinks.

but i know that as my grammy learned from g.g. (her mom), "this to shall pass"

now through all of this, i am so glad that i have her - she's an adorable little thing and a really good baby so i don't regret that she's now THE center of my and Dave's lives.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Photos of Olivia Jayne

Olivia with G.G. *Great Grandma

Olivia under the warmer

Daddy and Olivia (She has him wrapped!)

Nana (my mom) and Olivia just after she was born!

Our first face to face meeting!

Announcing the one and only Olivia Jayne Garcia!

It's been a few days since she's entered the world and all ready my life has been turned upside a good way of course. Dave is an amazing I write this he is sitting on the chair in my hospital room just cuddling with his little girl. They both seem to enjoy napping a lot! It's very charming and makes me so happy to see our little family forming all ready!

As for me...the road to recovery from my emergency c-section is going to be a LONG one. The story of little Olivia's birth is rather involved and complex. It was certainly as eventful as this pregnancy has been if not more eventful, which cleary is expected because nothing that little Olivia and I went through was typical or normal by any stretch.

The day I went into labor (Wednesday 10.15.08), I woke up around 7am and felt different, i just thought maybe that would be THE DAY! So, I went about my business - I had breakfast and lunch, watched TV and just waited it out.

As the day went on, my stomach was hard like a rock and my back was crampy so i called my OB's office. They had me come in and do a labor check at approximately 2:30pm. Luckily Dave was done with work that day and was able to come with me!! One of the midwives there said she was convinced I was in early labor and even questioned if I had a slow leak of amniotic fluid!! They did a bunch of tests that were coming back inconclusive so they weren't totally sure about the leaking. I just knew I was getting a lot wetter than usual. The possibility alone that I was leaking gave me a ticket to Labor and Delivery (L&D). They still wanted to check the baby, so they hooked me up to the NST machine and I was contracting every 5 to L&D I go!!

Dave and I got to L&D at about 5:30pm. When we got there they set me up in triage and checked my vitals, etc. After an internal exam it was determined I was 3cm and 100% and they went about trying to figure out if my water broke or not - which ultimately it was determined that it was slowly leaking so I wasn't' going home to "wait it out" i was going to have this baby!!

**Now, it's important for me to interject here that I may have been a little short with one of the midwives. She came in and said that she wasn't sure if I was leaking and I was only in early that point, I flashed with fear...I thought she was considering sending me home to wait it out and see if my water broke...and yeah, I was not going to be having that...clearly that was NOT going to be an option. According to my mom, who had met us there in triage, I actually sat up and with daggers in my eyes said to the woman "I AM 40 WEEKS AND 5 DAYS ALONG. I AM IN LABOR. I AM NOT LEAVING HERE WITHOUT A BABY." Obviously she was shocked and left the room...when she came back...she was nicer, and I was admitted!!

by 8pm we were up in our Labor and Delivery Room. and by 8:15pm my mucos plug fell all the way out and by 8:30pm I was gushing the remainder of my water - which was a mess and all over the floor of the room. It just kept coming too, which truthfully was amazing to me...I had NO clue it just kept coming out like that...amazing stuff!

Around 10:45pm I got my epi...which was a god send considering what was about to come. I ended up laboring all night with some progress but not too much. By 7am I was only 6cm and by 11am I was up to about 8cm (this is with Pitocin as well).

Now is when it gets complicated - I had a been flirthing with a fever from about 11pm clearly I had some sort of infection. And by 6am I had a full blown 101.3 fever going. I was hot, full of drugs and really uncomfortable. (Though I couldn't feel any of the contractions thanks to the wonderful people in the anestesia department!!) At this point, my midwife team turned me over the OB on call and he came in. With a fever of nearly 102 it was time for decisions to be made. By 11:30am I had signed my consent for a c-section and by 12:00pm I was under the knife.

After about an hour the doctor delivered Olivia with some complications. I lost a lot of blood, my uterus had to be cut the long way to get her out due to her immense size, and I was shaking uncontrollably. I couldn't talk and threw up during my c-section as well. It was bad. Dave said he thought I was going to die. I never thought that but I didn't see it from HIS point of view. They had me all closed up and wheeled back in the room by 2pm though. At that point I was in and out of consciousness and wasnt doing well. The other downside of the c-section is that I have essentially two different incisions. Outside i'm cut horizontally, but inside I'm cute vertically. Because of the way my uterus had to be cut I can never have a Vaginal Birth. IF I ever chose to do this again, it would have to be a c-section!

After getting back to my L&D room, I was still very feverish, exhausted and really just needed rest. Both Olivia and I continued antibiotics for 48 hours and our fevers went away. My fever broke on Saturday morning and Olivia's broke about 7 hours after she was born.

Over the weekend I was given 2 pints of blood because of my Hematocrit levels (Essentially this means I'm really anemic right now). The average woman's levels should be about 35-38% for women. Prior to my c-section I was at 30%. My levels post c-section were 17%, with one blood transfusion we were back to about 19%, with two blood transfusions we were at 22% and now as I type this I am getting my 3rd blood transfusion. Obviously I didn't want another transfusion but with my levels still SO LOW we had to do something to ensure that I was going to be able to go home and not fall over because I'm anemic. I will also be taking a lot of iron once I get home as well to help get my body back to normal.

Another joyous side effect of my exciting c-section experience is the fact that I actually have what is known as pitted adema. This means you can make indents on my feet and legs that will stay there for at least a minute. it's horrific and my legs and knees look huge!! For this condition they are going to give me a diuretic to help flush out the water tonight as well. I am having trouble walking/standing and moving. I get short of breath pretty easily because I'm so swollen and it's rough...let's not even talk about the amount of swelling I have in my little lady area (she looks like a hot dog bun!) and I didn't even PUSH!

Anyway, the long and short of it is this. Olivia is awesome, I love her so much. Though I don't intend to EVER do this again for another little person, I know that I would go through all this again for her. She's amazing, precious, and really just starting to turn into her beautiful little self. I LOVE being around her and knowing that we have an incredible journey ahead as mother and daughter. Granted, she did make me wait until AFTER I turned 30 to have her...I won't hold it against her!! :-)

Friday, October 10, 2008

what really IS a labor pain anyway?

So it's nearly the end of my due date and alas, no little baby to show for it. I hear that most mom's are late with their first babies anyway so I'm not too upset about it...if anything I'm just anxious to get through the pain - the physical pain that is, and see this semi small bundle of joy (can an estimated 8lbs. 11ozs. be considered small - not by my tally!).

I don't know that I'll really understand the emotional pain of being a parent until my little bundle of joy is yelling "NO" at me in a public venue, has thrown something of value down the toilet and flushed it, or is caught doing something unsavory in a public venue during his or her inevitable teenage rebellion.

since i'm so excited to know that labor has started and that we're about to have a baby, every pain i get could be "the one" that will send dave and I scampering off to Brigham & Women's to deliver. and so far, every pain i've gotten has been a let down and we remain at home...just contemplating when the main event will begin.

about a 1/2 hour ago i begain to have having horrible lower back pain, my stomach felt tight and i was wondering "could this be it?" it wasn't coming and going like a contraction would...but it was kinda intense and was like nothing i've felt...

i looked over to dave, he caught my gaze as i said "if it's like this in 15 minutes i'll call." The pain was serious and besides, wouldn't it make sense for me to start labor during game 1 of the ALCS series between Boston and Tampa Bay?

so i got up and went to use the bathroom - turns out i just had a really painful urge to poop. i'm guessing it's because the baby is pushing on my intestines and it caused some intense intestional pains.

needless to say dave was highly disappointed when i came out of the bathroom and it's back to the hurry up and wait game.

right now, in my G mocks us with a smile!

why yes, i am still pregnant...

sadly i'm over it. i'm over talking about it, i'm over answering questions about it...i think i honestly might just stop answering my phone.

i realize that people are calling me to ask if i've "had the baby yet?" or if there is "any news?" because they care and they want to share in the special event...but trust me, when it happens Dave will call you. He knows who he needs to call and people will be informed. i appreciate the love and support, but it is just getting tiring to talk about something that i've been told could happen "any day now" since August 27th. i am frustrated. i was forced to take a month off of work, rest and just wait for something that still didn't happen yet.

i realize today is my due date...but that sadly means jack crap. i could have a baby soon, i might not have a baby's hard to say. the baby birthing process is still a mystery in some ways. my OB/midwife team can't predict the exact DAY and TIME i'll go into labor...if only they could...they'd be rich and i'd feel a lot saner. but i digress...

the point remains i'm still pregnant. and yes, today is my due date. don't call me, i'll call you!

whew....ok done ranting now. :-) i feel much better.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

best laid plans

so i just got a call from my OB's office. tomorrow's induction has been cancelled.

apparently i've been bumped from the schedule so rather than going to my induction i am to go to my regularly scheduled appointment with my midwife.

i knew the whole time that there was a possibility that i might not get induced so it's ok. i'll be fine. just means now i get to wait longer to meet baby G!

oh well, even the best laid plans can be if only i'd just spontaneously GO INTO LABOR...i've tried to talk baby G into it...but he or she doesn't seem to want to do that just yet...

to push or not to push...

now, i realize i've never given birth before...but after watching a baby story on TLC i figure it must hurt worse than any pain i've ever experienced in my life.

these women on the show really scream and yell and freak out. i mean, i KNOW it's going to hurt...that part of my body is far from prepared to push a small person out of it, but maybe i should have thought of that before i decided that having a baby was a good idea

the funniest thing they all do is act like they don't want to push...well, the baby is going to come out, it needs to come out, and YOU need to push it in my opinion you just need to push.

i am going to try my hardest to just do what needs to be done and not complain while i'm doing it. there will be NO point in me saying "i don't want to do this" because at the point of pushing whether or not i want to push is not an's going to be a necessity. and not pushing is going to cause more problems than just pushing and doing what i'm told to do.

the past nearly 10 months have led up to the moments of the next 24 - 48 hours. i'm going to do my best to be a good patient and wife and a strong woman during this time and do what i can to bring baby G into the world with the least stress possible!

we'll see how it goes!!

Monday, October 6, 2008


today my midwife called...due to the size of the baby it's been decided that i must be induced.

so at this point i will be induced on Thursday, October 9th. i was given instructions to call the hospital at 6:30am on Thursday and the plan is that providing they've had no emergencies that would bump me, I'd head in at 7am to be set up for an induction.

now, this doesn't mean that i couldn't go into labor before then and knowing me and my life it wouldn't surprise me if i went into labor before my induction date...but as of right now, that's the plan.

funny how this kid tried to get out at the end of August and now it's being evicted!

now only TIME will tell!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

maternity clothes are too small!!!

(above) tonight - 39 weeks 1 day - in my living room!

at this point i have one pair of maternity jeans that fit...just one. so it sort of limits what i can wear. i have maybe 3 shirts that cover my belly...the rest are all too short to actually fit me correctly and i look foolish. therefore i am spending most of my time in pajama pants and long sleeve t-shirts...or Dave's sweatshirts...they fit me...that's really all i have left at this point. it's funny how BIG i am. thank goodness i don't have to work, i'd be in trouble trying to find anything to fit me! maybe baby g really is going to be a big baby!

Dave's Aunt Bridget emailed me today and said both of her kids were over 9lbs. maybe Dave's side of the family just has big babies...and I KNOW that my cousin Erin was a big baby oh's possible that the Baby G is going to be a mammoth child...the size of a small butterball turkey.

either way i am definitely feeling DONE with pregnancy. my back hurts a bit, my ankles are always swollen now, i'm tired a lot, and i'm always peeing! oh the joy. i can always feel the baby moving and i try to encourage him or her to come out, but it seems like it's just not time. and on top of being so pregnant, i now have a cold. awesome. so i'm full of snots and i have become a mouth breather while i sleep! always sexy.

Friday, October 3, 2008

your baby is bigger than my baby...or is it?

so today was my 39 week appointment and here i am...home again....doing what us pregnant gals do best...hurry up and wait as they say!

my appointment today was eventful though. first i had my ultrasound - this was done to try to see how big he or she might keep in mind there is a 20% margin of error in the calculations...this means the baby could be 20% smaller or bigger than the actual measurement they got. and the measurement they got was 8lbs. 11 ounces.

After hearing that gigantic number i did the math - based on the 20% window on either side, that makes baby G somewhere between 7lbs and 10lbs 4 ounces. REALLY? to be honest i am NOT putting much stock in that. i know he or she is big...i can feel that, but nearly 9 lbs? seriously? that's so not right...if it turns out he or she is that big i would be shocked!

after the ultrasound i had my exam - 2 cm dilated, 100% effaced with a paper thin cervix and my midwife decided to strip my membranes to see if that might get things jump does that mean exactly - it means that during my regular exam she seperated the amniotic sac from the wall of my uterus. this caused my body to release hormones called prostaglandins which help my cervix prepare for in some women this will cause labor within 24 - 48 others - nothing.

and after that i went and did a NST, which is a test where they monitor my contractions and the baby's movement...he or she was moving and i was contracting...but not enough to actually do anything. so she sent me home.

the only new instruction i got was to not just sit at home if my contractions are 8 mins apart. if i feel them getting stronger to call. i've had so much false labor that i don't even bother to call since the contractions haven't been close enough or in my mind even worth calling about, but now that i'm only 7 days out she doesn't want to mess would not be good for anyone if i had this baby at home because i was stubborn or didn't think they hurt enough to go to the hospital. i have always had a really good tolerance for pain so i think she is worried that i will wait too long.

well, it's off to wait some more...hopefully this baby will come soon! if it gets any bigger it's will be taller than me! hehehe

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

the night shift

i have to say that nighttime is the worst time for me as a pregnant woman. i seem to be unable to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time and there are some nights where i am just sitting up awake in my bed...sleep eluding me.

last night for instance, dave and i went to bed at 10:00pm. i was up at 12:00am, 1:45am - 3:00am, 4:30am, 5:19am and then again at 7:10am, 8:34am, and finally got up at 10:00am. Usually i don't sleep that late, but my body is just so tired at this point that i take any sleep i can get!

maybe it's the hormonal levels in my body keeping me up, maybe it's baby g kicking me in the ribs, but my friends who have kids tell me that it's just natures way of preparing me for the feedings and diaper changes and baby things i will be doing during all hours of the i guess it makes sense, but wouldn't you think nature would want me to get extra sleep now so that i would be calm and rested when the little one is here? i refuse to get out of bed and get on the computer or watch tv because once i give in to getting up, then i've accepted it and insomnia wins...i can't let that happen just yet.