Sunday, July 25, 2010

the future is the past is the future

O's future is so much tied into my past. I never realized that before, but recently I've been thinking about how she might be more like me than I thought. I have always been an independent woman. I love the idea of O being like me.

I fought tooth and nail to be my own person, and I continue to fight for independence. I wonder if O will be like me? I wonder if she will want to be on her own. I wonder if she will be an independent thinker and want to tear away from me...the thing is, I won't stop her.

I hope, secretly, that she will want to branch out, move away, and explore. I hope that I can give her a firm base from which she can explore, and know she will always be able to come back to. I love that she fights for her independence now.

Everytime she yells "no Mamma...I do!" I smile. I can't help it. I love that she wants to be independent and wants to do what she can on her own. It's fantastic to have a daughter who wants to be her own person, even though it is hard to rein her in...well, she's nearly 2, what should I expect...she is such a great baby. I don't want to rein her in. i want her to be her own girl...

and in the end, no matter what she decides to do, i want her to be herself...even if she never leaves me!!!