Wednesday, August 29, 2012

how to be a "good" mom

Being a good mom is hard.  It's harder than any other job I've had in my life.  After talking to a trusted friend and advisor today, I came to a realization that I was struggling to wrap my head around:

I have a hard time being a mom because there is not one definitive way to be a "good" mom.

I like standards, measurable results, benchmarks and goals.  In radio I always had a sales number to reach or a certain number of tickets to try to sell, it was much easier to figure out what I was supposed to do.  As an educator I have curriculum, time-tested methods and pedagogy to look at and compare my work against.  Professional success has always been something that I have strived for and parental success is something I aim for as well. 

The problem I am having is that there is no real way to measure how successful I am being as a mom.  I want to believe I am doing a good job with O and B.  I want to believe that the schedules and my sometimes over the top need to give them structure and security is going to produce strong, healthy, independent citizens of the world.

I want to believe that I am a "good" mom, even when I feel like I am not "good" enough for my kids.  It is hard for me to be the mom I want to be and still be the person I want to be as well.


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